Hey !

What are the stories you tell yourself about who you are?

What are your beliefs about your personality, your capabilities, and your worthiness?  Do you feel that these qualities are set in stone or do you feel that you have the ability to change?

These beliefs that you have formed around your identity will have an effect on your choices.  They can propel you forward or hold you back.  If you believe your personality and abilities are fixed and you are incapable of becoming more, you will struggle to see progress in any area of your life.  However, if you believe that you can build on your experiences, both good and bad, and have faith that you can reach any goal you set your mind to, nothing can hold you back.   

Outside factors can negatively affect your self-identity.  Opinions and feedback from those around you can influence how you see yourself and your self-worth.  If someone repeatedly tells you who they think you are, what they see as your strengths and weaknesses, and how they perceive your ability to achieve success, eventually you will start to believe it.  Has anyone ever told you that you’re worthless, stupid, lazy and that you’ll never amount to anything?  Even if you know these hurtful and negative assessments hold no weight, the seed has been planted in your subconscious mind and can show up later in the form of insecurity and self-doubt.

What are some of the stories you tell yourself?  Do any of the following statements sound familiar?

I fail every diet I’ve ever tried; I’ll never be able to control how I eat.

I’m not smart enough to go back to school to get my degree.

I have never been athletic and don’t know what I’m doing, I shouldn’t join a gym.

I’ve always been overweight; there’s no point in trying to change.

I’m not worthy of love and will never be in a healthy relationship.

I don’t have what it takes to go after that promotion/start my own business/change careers.

These types of negative perceptions and fixed beliefs can hold you back from your being the best version of yourself and living your best life.              

How can you combat this self-doubt?  How can you shift your mindset to allow room for growth?

• See it, be it - At the risk of sounding a bit new-agey, there is something to the practice of manifesting your dreams or goals into existence.  Whatever aspirations you have for your future, or traits you wish to embody, start living your life as if they are something you have already accomplished.  Stop saying, “I want to” or “I wish I could,” and start saying, “I am.”  I am fit and healthy. I am a business owner. I am successful.  Make these statements your new identity.  Visualize yourself, in great detail, having already achieved the outcome you desire, and your actions will follow.   
• Turn your focus inward - Take a moment to reflect on what you believe to be true of yourself.  What are your characteristics, your skills, and abilities, accomplishments and failures that have shaped the person you are today?  Look deeper into those beliefs and find the source of the story.  Question its validity.  Ask yourself if what you believe to be true is an accurate depiction of the present version of yourself, or if this particular belief is only true of who you once were, the opinions of others, or a story you have told yourself based on insecurity or fear.  It can be terrifying to challenge how you self-identify, to hold yourself accountable for underestimating your greatness, and realize the only thing that standing in your way is you and your excuses.
• Transform your fixed mentality into a growth mentality - Your story isn’t over.  The person you are today, the level of accomplishment you have reached, your habits, self-esteem, and mental outlook are not final.  You have the power, strength, and ability to change yourself and your life.  You never have to accept that your current circumstances are permanent.  As long as you are still alive, you have room to expand, grow, and evolve.  Use your failures to your advantage.  Learn from your mistakes as opposed to assuming these errors are character flaws, weaknesses, or a sign that your ability to succeed is impossible.  Believe that you have the power to problem solve, to persevere, and to be more! 
• Magnify your strengths - Focus on what you do well.  Instead of beating yourself up and spotlighting all the ways you fall short, concentrate on your strengths, and nurture your talents and skill.  While you don’t want to avoid improving areas of weakness entirely if you make that your main focus it’s easy to become discouraged and lose momentum.  Celebrate your accomplishments no matter how small you may think they are, and build on the positive momentum. 

It takes time and practice to dismantle the stories we have accepted about ourselves.  Change is never easy, even when it’s for the better.  By taking it one step at a time and consistently challenging our limiting beliefs, we can learn to trust and support our own dreams and know that despite our fear and vulnerability we are capable of great things.