If we are aware that we are all going through the same high's and low's, why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others? 

Maybe we are looking for their secret to success. 

Maybe we get so caught up looking at what others have that we don't, that we lose sight of the things we do have.  What would your life look like if tomorrow you lost everything you took for granted today?

When I was married I would often envy people who had healthy, happy relationships.  Mine was at a point of no return and I knew that I would never have that with my husband, but I was terrified to call it quits.  I didn't think I could take care of myself.  I had never been on my own before. 

I was jealous of strong, independent, single women who seemed to have their shit together and the freedom to do as they pleased.  They had the courage and strength to stand on their own instead of settling for an unhealthy relationship.    

Eventually I found the courage to leave my marriage.  

After my divorce I began to look closer at the relationships I had once idolized and found that many of them weren't as perfect as they seemed.  Happily ever after takes a lot of work!  I think too often we assume that couples with good relationships have it easy.  In reality every healthy relationship is created by daily effort on both parts.  

Being a newly single mom, I quickly came to the realization that single mom life is HARD!  It's not for the faint of heart.  Yes, I was happier after leaving my unhappy and unhealthy relationship, but that happiness came with a price.  You now longer have a partner to share the load.  You are solely responsible for solving all of your problems.  

Talk about a reality check.

Strong independent life wasn't as glamorous as I imagined it would be, but I now have a newfound respect for single parents.  It may be a challenging life, but it's a fulfilling life.  Every day I wake up proud of what I've accomplished on my own and inspired to keep growing!  

This new perspective helps me look at the lives of others in a different light.  While I may at one time have felt jealousy, I now realize there is a lot of behind the scenes work that has been invested creating the highlights that we see from the outside.  I've replaced jealousy with admiration and respect.  I choose to be inspired by their success and not intimidated.  

This mindset can easily be used to shift how we look at our own health and fitness.  It's easy to forget that we are all on a different health and fitness journey and dealing with our own unique set of circumstances. 

It's important to have a realistic understanding of what is best for YOU. 

What does YOUR healthiest life looks like? 

How you want to feel? 

What lifestyle will you be able to maintain that will not make you completely miserable?

When you set your goals ask yourself:

It can be easy to look at someone extremely fit such as a body building competitor or a cross fit athlete and wish you had a the same physique.  I would love to be at 17% body fat or less, have ripped abs, and biceps for days, however I know that adhering to the strict diet and highly demanding workout program necessary to achieve that look is not something I'm willing to adhere to at the point in my life.  I have other priorities and I know that I would be miserable living with that kind of restriction.  Instead of beating myself up for not being "dedicated enough", I have learned to accept a higher (but still healthy) body fat percentage, and fewer visible abs.  My body is capable of amazing things and I'm grateful to be the loving mother, business building, home owning version of myself that I am today. 

If you find yourself falling into the comparison trap, step back, take a deep breath, and put things into perspective.  Let go of the shame and guilt you may feel for not being some idealized version of yourself.  Think about your best assets, your strengths, the things that make you the amazing person you are!  Take a moment to be grateful for the life you have been blessed with.  Know that you are enough!  

There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself and your life, but don't let the desire for more cause you to discount the years of hard work you've invested into becoming the person you are today.  

Have a wonderful week!

If you have found my recent messages on mindset helpful, don't forget to sign up for my #nourishnovember mini course! 

I will be sending out 1 email for four weeks with tools and techniques to help you develop a moderate approach to a healthy diet that is sustainable.  

For more information head over to MBStrength.com!